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Monday, August 22, 2011

Oh My God the Scale says What???

So I promised I would be a bit more lighthearted with my future blog posts-starting now.

Well, I must admit one of my MAJOR FEARS about being Pregnant was weight gain. I have ALWAYS been conscious about my weight-I mean from the time I was in Elementary school. As a child, although I lived in the hood in Detroit, MI-my parents always made sure we went to Private schools as Education was key. I was in Catholic Schools for the better part of Elementary and Junior High. As a result, I was often the ONLY little black girl in class or one of maybe 3 AA children in total... so my body image was formed by being around Becky, Melissa or Emily-in other words thin White Girls and being fat was a Cardinal Sin! By the time I was 12 or 13, I sufficiently developed a serious body complex as I was always the biggest one in class and the first one to have "developed". At my smallest, I was a size 8 and that was for a HALF A YEAR as a Senior in High School.

Considering my lifelong love/hate relationships with weight, I made a pact to myself and whoever would listen, that BEFORE or IF I ever DECIDED to get pregnant-I would lose 25 lbs first. There go those plans...God's laughing at me -AGAIN.

Fast forward, please understand I've come to terms with my curvalicious, thick-thighs, small waist, big boobs and decent size rump over the years. I'm a healthy size 12 and proud of it! At my smallest, I'm a size 10 and at my largest I've been a size 16 at over 200lbs -GASP! From Nov.-April 2009, I lost nearly 40 lbs and got down to my skinny size 10-and could wear some size 8's!! I celebrated A LOT! Near the end of 2010 with my crazy, insane, high-pressure gig-I had put on almost 30 of it back on and couldn't lose it for ANYTHING. So... I made another resolution with myself -I would lose 40 for my 40th bday by April.

Well.... I left my job at the end of April-right before my birthday-and with all the stress, the weight still hadn't come off-surprise, surprise! Even after dieting, working out at least 3X/week (I had got up to 3 miles on the treadmill) and against my better judgement coming off the hormones at the advice of a Dr. -BIG MISTAKE! I figured with my time off I could work out 2X/day and by July -drop 20lbs. Well, little did I know-I was already pregnant. HAHAH -THE JOKE'S ON ME!!

I kid you not, I cried because my first thought was -OH MY GOD I'M GONNA BE HUGE! Not to mention how super body conscious my now EX BF was. He was constantly on my behind about losing weight and how Fat I was...(He was always toxic about that). I had long ago told him if he didn't like it he could hit the road-but he didn't. Anyway, the first time I went to the Dr. and stepped on the scale -I thought OH JESUS LORD WHY ME??? I had a glimpse of hope in the first trimester when I got the flu, immediately followed by crazy morning sickness -so I lost about 10lbs from not eating but that was short-lived, because as soon as the appetite came back-and it came back with a vengeance-that 10lbs came right back + some!

The last time I went to the Dr.-I was about 18 weeks-I stepped on the scale and nearly fainted! WELLLL over 200 lbs and I'm like Lord help me! I loudly MOANED-OH LAWD!!! The nurse was like-"OH LAWD WHAT?? YOU PREGNANT! " REALITY CHECK! The funny thing is I'm still wearing regular clothes at 21 weeks (5 months) and I'm wearing a large or a size 14. People who don't know me can't tell that I'm pregnant because there is no big belly yet-I've gained weight EVERYWHERE else though trust me. I had an interview and the only thing I had that was appropriate was a size 14 suit-so I put it on and trooped into the city on the train-the whole time gasping for breath, buttoning and unbuttoning my pants, going lightheaded from the tightness! I had to take a breath before I could make it up the stairs onto the street!! Why did I have to unbutton my pants, bend over, gasp for air, sweat beads rolling all down my face and head -just to keep myself from fainting??!! I totally sweat out my hair before I could get to the interview! Needless to say right after the interview, I took my butt to Old Navy and bought something cheap and cute for me to slip on and walk in comfortably without risk of popping a blood vessel for the rest of the day!

Well anyway, life goes on right? I'm carrying a Baby-so I have to let all those insecurities go. I still try to be healthy. I do work out at least 3X a week, and I try to eat healthy most of the time (but when Burger King calls my name-I go get that Burger and don't even trip on it!) I admit, it feels good for my ego to still get hit on by Cuties :). I've had several mouth-dropping incidents when I've told Men that I was 5 months pregnant-I mean I may be a little extra-but the thickness and the "GIRLS" (I MEAN BOOBIES) are WORKING IT HONEY! So I guess that's a perk!

At the end of the day, the ultimate PERK is the life I'm growing inside me. There is nothing like the Joy I feel when I feel that little life moving inside of me! He/she moves all the time-and ESPECIALLY when I eat -so I bet my little one will have that Love affair with food like me! :) I'm so thankful for this blessing . I'm big, beautiful and Pregnant-head held high and happily awaiting the big, baby belly that is surely coming soon!


  1. Lol nicely written Dayna, thank God for your sense of humor and know that God is laughing with you not at you!!

    Love ya girl, keep on being healthy!

  2. Great read! We are excited too!

  3. You are always beautiful to me my dear friend!

  4. I can't begin to understand the female fight with weight so to that I reserve comment but like with your previous blog, I think you show a lot of balls sharing your vulnerabilities like this. Bravo.