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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Too Many TAMARS!!

Hey Lovelies,

Thank you so much for reading and continuing to give words of support and encouragement, we all need that from time to time and I'm no different.

Sooooo....with that being said, I'm writing this post to clear up a few things for my "Haters" and "Objectors" who continuously read if for no other reason than to throw digs my way and look for more reasons to "dislike"me.   Let me note this one more time....I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK...IF I DID I WOULDN'T BE WRITING A PUBLIC BLOG!  I realize because this is public I've opened myself up to critics-tell me something I don't know!?  I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about ANYTHING  .

I called this post Too Many Tamars because of Tamar Braxton from the Braxtons-Toni Braxton and her Sisters' reality show.  Don't get me wrong-I like Tamar, but she's often inappropriate...meaning, she's loud and wrong- alot!  She voices her opinion when folks didn't really ask -and it's almost always coming from a self-centered place or an insecure place.  I  HAVE A LOT OF TAMARS IN MY LIFE TOO.  Sometimes, the closest people (by blood), are the MEANEST people too.   Just loud and WRONG all the time-thinking they know more than you do and have their own petty jealousies and insecurities that they project on you.   I've experienced some negative reactions from some of the "I've been a Momma lot longer than you types"-and from others.  My Story is not your Story.  We are all responsible for our own path-so don't be MAD at me cause I walk a bit different from you.

Also,  not that I have to explain anything, I just need to make it clear-that I'm all about the protection of my Child.   It's so not about Me!  It's so not about her Father..BUT there are some things that must be told.  I am AFRAID for him to be around Her-especially unsupervised-because I don't TRUST HIM-Can I say it any louder??  Can I write it more emphatically??? I wonder why people don't get that.  I guess they think I'm just being melodramatic.  However, my Child's Father showed His True Colors to me, particularly AFTER I became pregnant, and what I saw was DANGEROUS & UGLY.  How many of you are familiar with Arthur Morgan?    How many of you have heard of Josh Powell?  Google them if you haven't.  There are too many incidences of parental violence on little kids happening today.  It's so hard for me to ignore as a New Mommy who doesn't have a good relationship with my Child's Father.  

Ok-I'm not accusing Him of anything...but I am a bit wary and cautious because of his character.   To be clear....DAMN THE FACT THAT THE RELATIONSHIP DIDN'T WORK-I'M HAPPY TO NOT BE IN IT ANYMORE!  It was a relationship of convenience for both HIM and ME.  I DON'T LOVE HIM, never did -and I'm 150% certain-HE DID NOT LOVE ME.  He misrepresented himself from the beginning, and when I saw signs that things were not right-I didn't end it soon enough. Period.   I'm NOT BITTER.  I'm thankful that it happened because now I have MY DAUGHTER.  Yes, MY Daughter.  He made it clear to me that this was MY CHILD when he first suggested I GO GET AN ABORTION, and Second when I had to have the Police escort him out of MY HOUSE AND HE DIDN'T ATTEMPT ANY CONTACT WITH ME FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE PREGNANCY.  

LET ME BE CLEAR TO ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE....YOU CAN'T TRUST A MAN WHO THREATENS YOU WITH PHYSICAL VIOLENCE-MUCH LESS ONE WHO ACTUALLY PUTS HIS HANDS ON YOU.   There is something EXTRA SINISTER about a Man who will STRIKE A WOMAN WHILE CARRYING HIS UNBORN CHILD!!!  THAT is a REAL LACK OF MORAL CHARACTER!!    It really bothers me when Women stay in situations that not only harm them-but could possibly harm their INNOCENT CHILD'S WELL BEING.    Our Children don't deserve that!!!   I'm responsible for protecting my little Angel.   NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN HER SAFETY, AND HER EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL AND MENTAL WELL BEING.  NOTHING!!     I will eat Ramen noodles every single night so I can pay for Child Care all on my own, rather than ask HER FATHER to Babysit MY CHILD. PERIOD.    Does it mean anything that He is HER FATHER??  I don't know??  What does that really mean anyway to an unstable person?? In short, he's a SEVERE NARCISSIST-in my opinion-as I've have dealt with my share of them.

There is something morally amiss and unstable with a person who will study the bible for a 24 hour -48 hour marathon session -on a workday no less when he should & could be looking for work-and doesn't abide by any of the basic principles that God teaches, YET, he thinks he's one of God's Chosen Ones??!! You can't love God and say you don't LOVE YOUR MOM?  OR Say you DON'T LOVE ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER??  There's something morally lacking when a grown, ass Man says he doesn't have to work because his Mother has money!!! Really?  There is something wrong when a Man says if he has a Child with someone and it doesn't work -he'll just take the Baby and run, or He and His Mom would raise him/her?  What happened to working it out for the good of the Child???   Finally, how do you entrust an impressionable young girl with a Man who disrespects Her Mother and Women in general.  What is he REALLY gonna teach Her?  You can't work with a person like that because he's purely motivated by his own selfish needs and wants.

Some people live their whole lives in denial and being blissfully ignorant of their own shortcomings and blame everyone else for wronging them, rather than working on themselves.   You can't teach someone who doesn't want to be taught.

I know what I'm doing.  I'm protecting my Baby.  I have more than enough LOVE to give her.  Even in my present unemployed state-I can take care of her Financially better than He can.  What does that tell you?  I can FORGIVE a whole lot.  But, I DON'T FORGET-and I'm trusting my MATERNAL INSTINCTS.   It's NOT ABOUT ME.  It's ALL ABOUT HER.

So listen up all you Tamar's-I GOT THIS.




  1. I guess you told us....hopefully Clarke will have the good qualities in her DNA...This is heavy very heavy...

  2. A woman's instinct is NEVER wrong, we just often IGNORE it for one reason or another. All of your reasons are not only legit, they're no one else's dang business. Over the years my mother has often said that she regretted not just running away with me as an infant when my own father exhibited abusive behavior...but she didn't. She did eventually divorce him, but I was still subjected to his behavior on the occasional visits through the years until I refused to see him anymore. At this point I'm an adult, so I've chosen to turn whatever damage was done to me as a child into a badge of courage. But if you can spare Clarke the experiences that too many children suffer from having a neglectful/abusive parent, because their mother (or father) didn't have the money or confidence or courage to leave...then she will be better off for it. I wish I could do more, but for now I hope that my words with suffice.


  3. Court Date is April 14th at 11am for custody and Visitation.
    after recieving more than $2000 dollars from the Clarke's Father and Never letting her Father see her what will Happen in court.

    Also a month ago Dayna did not have money for her own daughter to see a Doctor instead of being embrasssed the father paid $170 out of his pocket cash the next day Dayna still told him to beat it but she did take the cash,Gifts, and Insurance so How bad can he be.

    He gets a picture via text 1 time per month but she gets cash all the time.

    Well good luck with he's mean bad and horrible but please send us cash.

    1. Wow- that is very mature of you Randal. Thank u for writing lies About me to try to help your case- or for skewing the truth. God knows the truth - and I'll be sure to show this to the Judge too. $600 in Jan. And a stroller in April- and to think - u volunteered to pay a medical bill due to an insurance snafu. It will all come out in Court. Good luck to u.

  4. keep the blogs coming Dayna! I enjoy reading your insights & experiences...